To my sweet husband:
Today, we’ve been married for 3 years and it has been the happiest of my entire life. Part of me wonders how we’ve already been married for 3 years and another part wonders where the time went. Someone said to me the other day that that’s how you know it is a love that’s meant to be. It’s a comfortable love that feels like it’s just always been there.
You’re the best part of my every day and I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have you.
If I had it to do all over again, I’d still chose you. Every single time.
Today, friends, I wanted to share a couple of things that I’ve learned in the time I’ve been married. Three things to be exact. One for each year that I’ve been married.
- Don’t stay mad – When Ryan and I first got married, he was deployed twice. If there’s anything I learned during those deployments or the time between deployments, it was the value of getting over things. Don’t stay mad at the person you love. Life is too short and your time together ends too quickly and there’s no point in staying mad about something that won’t matter in the long run.
- Stay interested – Talk to each other, learn something new about each other everyday. Discovery is at the root of most things and it’s fascinating to learn something new about your significant other that you never knew before. I’ve loved continuously learning new things about Ryan and the things that I learn never fail to amaze me.
- Marriage is a constant work-in-progress – In our first year of marriage, I wondered why everyone said that marriage was so hard because I thought it was a cake-walk. However, as I mentioned above, Ryan was deployed twice…so yeah, it was easy because it was just me at home most of the time. However, once his deployments ended and he got a job in the school house and was home all the time (no more deployments whoop!) I finally found out why people said marriage was hard. Marriage requires constant work. Something my naive self didn’t realize at the age of 21 when we decided to get married. You see marriage portrayed on television as this happy-go-lucky thing that’s just so simple. But, in reality that’s not how it is. You fight about money, you fight about who did the laundry and forgot to put it in the dryer and it now stinks like mildew, you fight about who loaded the dishwasher or who should clean up from dinner. Marriage is a learning curve. Living with someone 24/7 is a learning curve. It’s all worth it, no doubt about that but it’s always a work-in-progress. Especially in these early years of our marriage, we’re still learning so much about each other and as we grow and learn together, we’re changing and then it’s just one learning curve after another. I’ve never had to work at anything more in my whole life than I have at my marriage. That’s what makes it so precious and special.
There’s so much more that I could offer up about what I’ve learned in the past 3 years but I figure I’ll just leave it as that. Next year, I’ll have learned more and so I’ll make another post recording what else I have learned. It will be a nice record of our marriage to do something like this every year.
If you’re married, what advice would you give your newly-wed self based on what you’ve learned in your years of marriage?