Lifestyle,  Pregnancy

Why I’m Deciding Against a Home Birth (even though I thought it was what I wanted)

Well, hello there!

At 28 weeks pregnant (whattttttt? Hello, 3rd trimester!), I’m starting to think a lot more about my birth plan and what I want my birth to look like.

For a long time, I really thought that I wanted to do a natural, home birth.  There were several reasons I thought I wanted a home birth.  For starters, Ryan and I both hate hospitals.  Neither of us has ever been admitted to the hospital personally and the cold environment just kind of freaks us out.  I am also a firm believer that birth is not really a “medical” event.  It never has been.  I’m quite an easily swayed person and I very often just listen to the advice of those whom I believe have more knowledge on certain subjects than me.  Armed with these things, I thought that what I really wanted was to have an all-natural birth in our home.  With an at-home birth, I would have the power over my birth.  I’d have the help of a midwife but ultimately, this would be my birth.

However, with our impending move across the country, I’ve been feeling weary about the whole home-birth thing.  Maybe it’s just because I am going to be moving to a place where I don’t know anybody.  Maybe it’s because we are renting and not owning when we first move there and when the baby will be born.  However, the largest factor is that I couldn’t find any midwives near OKC which was a real bummer!

There are plenty of other factors that went into my decision though.  I’m not typically a person that likes to think in “what-ifs”.  However, I’ve never given birth before and I don’t have any plans to take any chances with this sweet little babe that I’ve been entrusted to protect.  Where we are going to be living, we are about half an hour from the nearest hospital.  While I’d like to assume that everything is going to go well with this birth, if something were to go wrong with me or the baby, 30 minutes sounds like a long time when I could have the option of being literally right there.  Also…I may or may not also love the idea of having the option for pain medication if I don’t fully commit to a natural birth 😂.

Now trust me, I went through the emotions of feeling like I’m doing woman-kind an injustice and setting myself back by more or less “giving in” to a hospital birth (especially because I really thought I wanted a home birth and this does feel a bit like “giving in”).  I wanted to be that empowered mama that had my baby at home.  I wanted to be able to say I did it all at home, with just me and my husband and our midwife there to help.  I wanted to be able to say that I felt empowered by having a natural birth all at home.

Just because I thought I wanted those things…that doesn’t mean that that’s what ended up being best for me, and for my baby, and for our health and safety.  After hearing stories and reading up on the hospital I’m going to be giving birth at, I know that I can still do justice for woman-kind.  I know I can still feel empowered by giving birth at a hospital.  I can still be the hippie mama I wanna be, even at a hospital.  I know this can still be my birth.

*As a short little disclaimer here, I wanted to mention something.  I, in no way, am trying to say that any one way to birth a child is better than any other.  Birth looks different for everyone and just because one person may give birth in a hospital, medicated, doesn’t mean her experience is any less amazing and empowering and beautiful than a mama who gave birth naturally, at home.  To me, as a soon-to-be first time mom, I personally think that any way any woman gives birth is insanely badass.  I think moms are pretty much killing it no matter what way they give birth. Just because I’m expressing my opinions about giving birth naturally at home vs. at a hospital doesn’t mean I’m thinking that one way is superior.

Also, real talk here, friends.  Here’s how I know that ultimately deciding on a hospital birth was a good idea for me: after making the firm (and well-informed) decision that I did, I felt like a bit of a weight was taken off of me.  I felt okay with my decision to give birth at a hospital.  I almost immediately made peace with the fact that I was going to do this in a hospital.  That, right there, tells me everything I needed to know about my decision.  Even though I thought I wanted a home birth, that doesn’t mean that’s what I actually felt was right, deep down.

So, my friends.  There it is.  That’s the gist of things.  I can definitely wait another 12 or so weeks for Baby H to get here but I also can’t wait and know it’s going to be here before I know it!

Where did you give birth, was it medicated? How did you come to your decision and did you feel it was the perfect choice for you? I’d really love to hear everyones stories!!


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