Today, I need to vent.
I started Oh Happy Hotalings in February 2015 with the intention of having it someday be a source of income that I can use to help take care of my family, while caring for my babies from home. It’s now August, 2017 and I’m coming up on 2 years of blogging. In July, I made $2.50 from ad revenue. It’s not an income…it’s not anything. I suppose it’s a start because I’m still making money from adds every day but it’s not what I had hoped for.
I’m not bitching or whining because I feel sorry for myself. I know that I didn’t take this blog as seriously as I should have from the get-go but that’s who I am. I’m the type of person that learns as they go. In January, I went on a church retreat and when I came home, my mindset was entirely new. I knew I needed to start taking this seriously. I knew I really needed to work towards making my goals happen. I knew that if I wanted to have the kind of life I was hoping for, I needed to get started.
It’s now August and I am feeling stuck.
I recently posted in a blogging group I’m in about how I’m feeling. I feel like everyday, the wheels are turning, my feet are moving but I’m not moving. I’m not going anywhere. I feel like I’m not being heard. I feel like I’m not reaching people, like people can’t find me. I read all these articles of those before me who have found success and I’m trying to duplicate that but I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Even though I feel like I’m taking this seriously, am I not taking it seriously enough? How does one even gauge that?
I tweeted a few weeks ago about how blogging is honestly one of the loneliest professions. I don’t know of any bloggers in my area and I’ve never known a blogger before I started on this journey. People around me whom I tell about my blog look at me like I’m crazy. People don’t understand this and they won’t take you seriously.
Nobody can understand your journey except for you and you have to figure out how to be enough on your own without the support of others.
Don’t get me wrong. I have the amazing support of my husband, and really he’s the one who’s been keeping me going on this, he’s the one encouraging me to keep my head up. I have made some amazing friends through blogging Facebook groups and I’ve met fellow bloggers at a blogging conference but sometimes, it’s hard to let that be enough.
Blogging is easily one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The mindset required for blogging is hard. Everything is hard about blogging and if anyone ever tells you otherwise, they’re lying.
However, I love blogging. I wouldn’t go back on this for the world. I’m determined to make this work because I need this to work. I do have an audience and you guys are absolutely amazing for reading my posts every week and for following me on social media and I wouldn’t trade y’all for the world. I love blogging but just like anything, sometimes you just need to vent a little, you know?